Shrink

(Side note: I had never actually truly intended to talk with this Dr. I just basically said I would to make the social worker happy because she was worried about me. But then there was That Day. That really, really bad day where  I ended up calling KbyK and telling her that she needed to stay on the phone with me. I was scared of how close to the edge I was. She did. She stayed on the phone with me for as long as I needed, and got me over that hump. Then yesterday, the Dr actually called me to see if I was still interested in meeting. I knew at that point that even if I wasn’t particularly interested in meeting her, I needed to. So I said yes and we met this morning.)

I talked with a psychiatrist/psychologist (Never can remember which one is the one that can’t prescribe Rx) today. I’m glad that I did. I have another appointment with her next week.

It is a service offered to NICU parents, and it is billed under the child so even if you don’t have insurance, but your baby does, you still have access to the doctor. Its a good thing. I think, especially for long-term NICU stays, its probably one of the best things they can offer.

Because I needed to talk. I needed to talk about everything to someone whose only job was to sit there and listen to me talk about what I needed to. She didn’t have anyone distracting her. We weren’t talking around a watercooler on break. Nothing like that. It was just me and her in a room by ourselves, talking.

She was a great listener.

I’m not going to go into details because its not necessary. Plus, unless you’ve been in the situation you really wouldn’t get it.

I’m under doctor’s orders for another round of alcohol, chocolate, bubblebath, and Walking Dead. I’m also to absolutely NOT think (as much as that’s possible) about G or L for 24 hours. I’m especially not to go visit G. I’m also supposed to take myself to Taco Bell and get my favorite noms, then veg out in peaceful bliss for at least a couple hours.

That, I can do! I think. Well, hopefully.

One of the more awesome things was that she’s a pumper, too. So she GOT it. We had quite a mini gripe-fest on how much pumping absolutely sucks. She also said that if it weren’t for the fact that I was backed into a corner with G needing b-milk because she can’t stand formula, that she’d highly recommend I quit pumping. That its just too much stress right now.

Just nice to hear someone acknowledge that. You know?

If my next meeting with her is anything like this meeting was, I think she’ll force me to reevaluate my opinion of head doctors. I’m actually looking forward to talking with her again.